16 May 2009

Random Rescues

Yesterday was just one of those days.  
Funny, even, in an offbeat sort of way.  
And two tales that really made the afternoon altogether memorable.
The first, an event I shall from now on refer to as:

The Monkey Stash

Needless to say I spent the next hour picking out and scrubbing up.
{{What a treasure trove of trash!}}


I took the Monkey out for a walk.  
Nice shady dirt road in the country.
Lots of pebbles to throw.
And dandelions to pick.
It was altogether peaceful.

And then we walked upon the Second Event.
An event which I shall from now on refer to as:


well.  it's not appropriate for a lady to say.

He looks nice enough.

And he was wandering into the road, so I wanted to help him.

He was huge.  And slow.  
I thought, "I'll just take him over to the other side of the ditch."

He had a cute little nose.  I liked him a lot.

But when I looked at his little face . . .

I don't think he felt the same way about me.

And that's the last picture I took.
I bent down and picked him up, and carried him carefully over to the other side of the path.
And what did he do?
He peed on me.
But did I drop him?  NO!  I most certainly did not.  
I held him further out from my body and continued my way gingerly to the other side.

And as I set him down, oh so nicely . . .
the little pee machine tried to bite me.


 I wish I could say I escaped with some dignity and grace.
But we are talking about ME afterall.
I shrieked, rather unattractively  I might add, and jumped away.
And lost my balance.
And fell backwards into the deepest part of the ditch.
Onto some rocks.
And a prickly sort of plant.
And the Monkey was laughing from his stroller seat.

But the turtle was fine.  
And as I got up and brushed myself off, away he wandered into the shrubbery.
I was left standing,
covered in turtle pee,
 with scratches on my hands and prickles in my thighs.

So I took the monkey home to play with his freshly unearthed crayons.
(needless to say I spent the next hour picking out and scrubbing up.)

1 comment:

  1. Just another day in the country, hum?
    I love your writting, so funny!