18 July 2009

Finding Faith on the Farm

He speaks.

I'm told He always does.
That it's up to me to shut my lips and listen.
I confess I hadn't heard Him in awhile.
Perhaps for my own chatter.
My questions for the past couple of years have seemed deafening.
To block them out, perhaps I've only spoken over them.
About trivial things.
Childish things.
It must be that the whole time I was wailing, He was whispering.
Yet His words won out.
And I hear now.

I wouldn't say I had fallen completely away from Him.
Wandered, yes.
Wondered, yes.
And I wouldn't say that I'm completely home again now.
But I'm ever so much closer with each day.

I pass these three crosses on my way into town.
They point towards the setting sun,
Three crude wooden structures, glowing like liquid sap in the light of the day's final hour.

There are often people here.
Here, in this pasture in the middle of nowhere.
Cars pulled into the dirt alongside the road,
hats off and faces down.
Silent save the crows feeding in the field before them.
And it is only them and He and His earth and His sky.
No stained glass windows.
No Sunday clothes to hide behind.
Just dirty hands and dirty hearts
and a sincere and silent wish to be made clean.

I found myself one of them today.

Not for feeling down and not for feeling dirty,
but for feeling like I just needed some extra strength.
A little hope, a little peace.
A deep breath that it seems I haven't been able to muster on my own.

And driving home,
Mason in the backseat singing,
I noticed these for the first time.

Quiet signs leading me home.
And Home.

We stopped off for Chinese food.
With Keith away on business and Mason being such a picky eater,
I didn't feel up to cooking for one.

A dish of chicken and mixed vegetables, no mushrooms, and
a fortune cookie later . . .

He speaks.

And though I don't understand all of what He is saying . . .
I hear now.

And am better for it.


  1. Beautiful. We all need a roadside miracle every now and again.

  2. He is steady. He is good. Keep listening.
    what a beautiful, encouraging day.

  3. thank you for sharing...I needed to hear that!

  4. Lovely writing and gorgeous pics.

  5. I love this entry....it really touches me. The pictures are amazing. I was wondering if you would mind if I used what you wrote in a book I am writing. I have a section in which people tell me theri stories of when God spoke to them. I would love to add this to my collection. Let me know.
    And...yes....he does speak

  6. So true RR! He is closer to us than our life blood, and that goes for all regardless of denomination...

  7. it never ceases to amaze me where, when and how he decides to grab our attention. and you're right. he speaks to us all the time. we're usually just too preoccupied to hear. thanks for the reminder to pay a bit more attention.

  8. this post brought tears to my eyes; why didn't you tell me it was here?!!!! wow!!! thank you and thank G-d!!! may you go from strength to strength. amen.

  9. Just yesterday our pastor said... "Peace is a settled state within the soul." Keep listening and learning. You express yourself so beautifully!