11 September 2010

Nine Years Ago



I just wanted to take a moment this morning,
over my coffee as my dog snores against my feet.
Here in my small but happy home,
A grown woman with her own child now . . .

to reflect.

I have not forgotten.

Nine years ago this morning,
I was in class at a small community college.
Mad at my life.
My grandfather had just passed away,
my three year relationship had just crumbled.
I hated the small college and just wanted to be at the university.
How horribly I thought I had it.

I got up and walked out.
Went home to take a nap and be alone with my bad mood.

Walked in.
The light on the machine was blinking.
My mom.
Message after message . . . in hysterics.
We've been attacked.

TV on.
Sitting all day.
A blur, a dream.
I sat alone just like I had planned on doing,
but out of myself and aching for my country.
Shock.
Anger.
And extreme sadness.


I love you dearly, America.
I don't love all you do and all you've been at times.
But you are my home and my history.
I hate how you hurt that day.
How our people suffered.

Nine years, and counting.

The dog keeps snoring.
I stir more cream into my coffee and watch the birds on the back porch feeder.
So peaceful. Light.
Life goes on.


But I have not forgotten.

And I will never, ever forget.

* * *





4 comments:

  1. Thank you, Jess. Beautifully put, and all of us need to remember forever. I was teaching class when it happened, turned on the computer and saw the silhouettes of people holding hands, choosing to jump to their deaths instead of being burned. The love in that silhouette on MSN.com is something I still have not found words for.

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  2. gorgeous sentiments.....a sad day to remember.

    hugs

    hello gorgoeus xxx

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  3. I read your eloquent thoughts and they made me cry. I second everything you wrote. Still I ache when I think of it. I had left my beloved city just 2 days before the attack. Numb with grief, a displaced new yorker.

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