05 May 2011


The Wide Open post from yesterday . . .

I can't tell you what kind of relief,
strange at it may be,
that writing about the past few years brought me.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to share with you,
and to be accepted by you.
And I can't thank you enough for all your
amazing, supportive, even funny and uplifting notes.
For the stories that some of you chose to share in return,
painful as some of them were.
It was indeed good for me in many ways.
Gave me some perspective.
Some solid advice.
And many hands to hold onto.

Over coffee this morning,
I decided that my reception into open arms
might best be taken as an opportunity to let things go.
To embrace a new phase in my life.

I took down the post.

Not because I feel like hiding anything,
or because I don't want to acknowledge what I wrote.
But I got what I needed from the experience of letting it out.
I hope you got something from it too-
something positive.

I don't, however,
want those words and experiences
to be something that you or I dwell on.
I don't want my life to become an online soap opera,
nor do I want to seem ungrateful for all the *good* I've known.
That wasn't the intention.

Things really are in the process of improving.
I am happier than I have been in some time-
I'm genuinely in a solid, optimistic place.
(Not sure if I was clear enough about that before.)

This may all seem confusing-
my tacking up and then taking down such a long post.
But really after thinking about it more,
I don't think there is a need to keep it up.

You know me.
Let's move on now.
And celebrate the good things.


Off to shovel mulch and plant tango lilies!


  1. Hop on that Rosy horse, sweet girl, we are moving on...

  2. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. ~Soren Kierkegaard

    Enjoy and relish your living forward, Jess!

  3. mmmm
    I missed the post
    but still get it
    Life is
    ebb and flow
    shift and shape
    up and down
    moving all the time
    THAT is something to celebrate!!!
    So yes
    lets get a move on and wee what adventures wait down the road and around the corner

    Love and Light

  4. yeehaw!! moving on and upward:)

  5. ;) wind in your hair - hands up in the air!

  6. I found your blog yesterday and, after reading your post, really wanted to leave a supportive comment but needed to process it...sit on it...think of something meaningful to add to the discussion.

    After all that, I just wanted to share that you really touched me. I was working late into the evening on my humble jewelry and I couldn't get the post out of my mind. I am glad I found your blog and your work. You don't know me but I am cheering for you and sending supportive karma your way. You are amazing...and so incredibly talented I don't know where to begin.

    So...yes, moving on. Good luck with the mulch - I just finished mine a few weekends ago!

    Hugs, Christine

  7. I read your post yesterday and so wanted to respond but I was reading from my Blackberry and it's finiky about posting to blogs. In a nutshell I wanted to say that it takes cajones to lay it all out there, but once out, I can see how you spoke your peace and then moved on. I love your work and now I completely respect the rest of you!

  8. I missed the post too but if the final decision is to plant lilies...that sounds pretty good to me : )

  9. I missed your post, Jess, but know this:

    I love you.


  10. Hi Jess, Always remember - onward and upward. Hugs, Sally

  11. Jess....you deserve all the happiness life can offer....follow the sun! ♥

  12. Very smart, very progressive and very nice! Treat yourself kindly is my motto! I am coming with you!

  13. And bravo again. And again. Know I get it in so many ways. Let it go.


  14. Dearest Jess,

    I caught your post last night. It was a *sick* day for me so I read most of it with the intention of finishing the rest today when feeling more refreshed to leave my comment.

    You wouldn't have been able to write what you did if in some way you hadn't already pushed through your experience with some understanding of it and a little bit of emotional space.
    When you're in the thick of emotional upheaval or dificult trials it's impossible to properly grasp in it's entirety.

    I've been through my own hard experiences and I think life takes a lot of courage, large doses of self-love, connecting to others. It's really a lot about connecting to others which you do so beautifully in an eloquent and personal fashion via your blog and work.

    Your story is one of love and hope. It shows so clearly how resilient the human spirit is. That's so beautiful!
    Sending love, always xo

  15. I just love you people.


    The gratitude goes on and on . . .

  16. as cormac mccarthey wrote: the story's told. turn the page.

  17. Oh I missed it! But it sounds as if it did exactly what it was intended for :) How wonderful the power of words is.

  18. I was grateful to read and feel your story. I only started reading your post this week through a link on Kate McKinnon's page. What good fortune I had to begin to know you.

    I'm twice your age, but I am no different. I am human, and I understood every word.

    Thank you.

  19. i can't say i haven't done the same thing myself.

    just keep doing what you do, however it works for you, and when it stops working, try something new.


  20. I read your post and you deserve every happiness ~ sending you cyber hugs


  21. Lovely post. Your story is so beautiful and very inspiring.

    Silver MLM

  22. So happy you received the healing acceptance of so many cyber-friends & much more. God is truly good & His love for you will heal all those many wounds, scrapes & soul bruises. Now, go dance with your lilies a bit!