11 May 2011

Relinquishing the XOs

Seeing as how the theme of this blog lately has been "honesty"
or some such similar thing,
I figured I'd throw one more truth at you.

I know.
You poor people.

But it must be said!
For I have a confession to make.
A sort of lie I've been living . . .

*dramatic pause*

I am NOT an XOXO kind of girl.
. . . It's true.

* * *

Now being a mother,
I'm certainly an ABCDEFG kind of person.
And being a texter,
I consider myself a proficient LOL person
and even, on occasion, a WTF person.
But no, friends.
In all honesty,
I am not an XOXO person.

I would like to take a moment to say that
I LOVE you XOXO people.
You're charming. You're kind.
I'd never encountered you until this online world
became part of my life.
But people around here don't write such things.
That is to say, we don't sign notes that way . . .
unless maybe there's a Valentine floating around somewhere.

When I joined the Etsy kingdom, however, and this
great universe that is the blogosphere,
it seemed to be the native language.
And, wanting to be a part,
I picked it up and popped it in my mouth.
It's been bubbling out of me ever since.

The problem is,
every time I write XOXO, I feel like I'm trying to
speak with a foreign accent
. . . . . and doing a really bad job at it.
It really feels unnatural.

ReconstructingSarah and I joked about it
some time ago, saying that neither of us
were the perfect specimens of language and lady-likedness
that the XOXO can imply . . .
we sign our notes to each other with XOLS.
{Truthfully, we've both since forgotten what the L stands for,
but the S means "shit."}
An open declaration that we're rough around the edges-
that we both curse and carry on sometimes,
and we're perfectly fine with it.

I talked to Sunny last night-
we had an awesome discussion on authenticity and friendship,
on game-playing, marriage, on and on . . .
Sunny (who, by the way, is a RAGING XOXO user
and someone whom I adore to no end,)
laughed hysterically at my recent epiphany.

{{The girl has a gigglebox that you would not believe.}}

Anyway, so all this to say that . . .
I am officially relinquishing the use of the XOXO.
Should you get a note from me that does not end
in that particular set of letters,
do not be alarmed!
I am merely returning to my own native tongue,
which is much less charming but far more comfortable and
genuine to me.

As for you, if you are an XOXO user,
bring it on!
I love GETTING the XOXO; I just can't be writing it.

Besides, I could be covered in mud or packaging peanuts,
having just swigged strong coffee . . .
do you really want me flinging hugs and kisses your way?
Think that through and I think you'll think not.

Now that we've settled that,
I do love you people.
And I do wish I could give you hugs.
And a smooch on the top of the head.
I simply want to say it in other ways.


Alright then.
Y'all have a good day!



  1. capiche! :D

    Bless you and your honesty, chica.

  2. Sidenote: Catherine, is that how you spell capiche? I thought that's how you spelled it but when I looked it up, there was a K and no E. Maybe letters and I are just not meant to be friends. :))

  3. LMAO

    a pleasure : )
    as always

    ps I do LOVE your rough around the edges self there sister!
    it is all good

    love and light

  4. jeeze. now i am gonna save all the xoxox's i ever got from you and frame them.
    i am one that has children that cannot speak properly without some pepper in every sentence. i know they learned it from me. it appalls me. and really only, cause others are bothered by it. now in reality, i would rather them say f**k or S**t or D**n... since it has prevented them all from using the ever present "UM". i detest the "um". the "um" is a mental place saver. i would like to consider not speaking until a fully formed concept is arrived at and then delivered coherently. not filled with the "um" which makes a rocket scientist, brain surgeon and harvard graduate all sound less intelligent than they may be.
    so all things considered, in an effort not to be banned from all sources, i choose to be an "xoxoxo" person. i choose however NOT to use it when i really do not mean it. i am thrilled that you have taken on this burdensome issue... it has long required addressing.
    just sayin'
    so thanks jess. as always... you got it going on.
    xoxoxo. wendy

  5. HA! Thanks, Wendy!!!
    I too, detest vocalized pauses.

    . . . of course, I uh, I tend to use them a lot myself. :)

  6. speak your truth - that is all anyone can ask... and all anyone should do...

  7. now that had me chuckling out loud - is that COL? i love the way you put things!

  8. ha ha....here's to you...xoxoxoxoxo

  9. you can throw a curse word at me any time you like. after all, i still personally refer to your gnome as Gnomey Bastard. I'm just sayin'.

    as a side note, i would personally LOVE to have you and Sunny as my neighbors on either side in my next lifetime please. i felt an instant love for a woman that uses the word vapors.


  10. Sunny and I are in the midst of a serious collaboration line. I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

    You are fierce and honest; you give me courage
    and I seriously send you major
    xoxos from the bottom of my grateful heart.

    Let's talk in person next time :)

  12. Lady- you are the jam in my jelly roll.

  13. dear jj.
    sometimes for me it's:
    sometimes it's:
    sometimes i can:
    sometimes i am:
    have to agree with you,
    i'm not really a xo kinda girl either.
    sometimes i'm just:

    sending you lots of l and l.

  14. lol I'm a serious xxxx girl ~ I love passing round the love and kisses but I have to feel it honestly or else you aren't getting any ;0)

    XXXX ;)

  15. Jess, I think it is grossly unfair. First, you were my perfect teacher of that xoxo language and now you are telling me it should be abandoned.Lol and mwah! And some xxx...

  16. Heheeee! I love these comments. Aw, Magda, you learned about XOXOXO from me???

    It should NOT be abandoned! NOT BE!

    It should not be used be people like me who can't help but write it with some degree of "what the crap am I writing?"

    Like a yankee trying to comfortably say "y'all" - it's not happening.

  17. I forgot to tell you that in my family we kiss and hug twice, like the french. In my sister's family, dutch, they kiss three times. They kiss everyone. I was in Belgium and everyone on the street kissed me twice in a fair. I think in US people keep their friendships in a different sort of boundary. So here again, xoxoxo

  18. Haha. You rock, Jess. I just started using xoxo's fairly recently and I don't use them all the time. But they are totally appropriate for me because I am the most touchy-feely-huggy person you have ever met. I am a bitch and I cuss like a sailor in real life. But I'm still an xoxo girl.

    Maybe I should start using BBAS. (booty bounce and an ass smack)!! That would be funny. Maybe my judgement is a little screwy from listening to Pandora too much. ;)

  19. Going native looks good on you girl.

    And for the record, I am a "loves" and "hugs" girl but also a "shit-balls" girl and I think the combination is rocking.

  20. HA! I love it :) I have a hard time typing those particular characters myself... :)

  21. Dude, where did all the comments go? Dang Blogger and it's major malfunctions.

  22. :D
    xo {for real...}

  23. For years I resisted LOL. But I've always preferred <3 to the XOXO anyway.

  24. I always think it's kind of strange when a guy (like my husband, I guess is the only one I know who does this) writes LOL. Don't know why, but my head designates LOL as being as feminine as XOXO.

    I have serious acronym issues. :)))

  25. OMG! I'm new to your blog and this is one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time! I xoxox you and your down-to-earth approach to life! ...and language! LOL!

  26. This makes me laugh! I cannot use LOL since before the internet it always was the acronym for Little Old Lady.

    Sorry if that ruins LOL for some people.

    Thanks for the laughs!